blazesketball

Not even writing a lede, you know what it is.

CJ McCollum: Tyrion Lannister

Much like Tyrion Lannister, CJ was undersized growing up. Unlike Tyrion Lannister, CJ grew to 6’4, averaged 22/6/3 and led Lehigh to a 15 over 2 upset over Duke as a junior, got picked in the lottery, and became one of the NBA’s elite shooters and off-the-dribble threats. Then again, CJ never saved King’s Landing from Stannis’ fleet by lighting Blackwater Bay up with wildfire like the fucking Fourth of July. So… Toss-up? Toss up.

 

Pat Connaughton: Hotpie

You don’t really know why they’re still out here, but they are, and you’re here for it.

THE KING IN THE NORTH(west).

Other than just having a generally brooding vibe most of the time, Jon Snow and Dame have a lot in common. Both undoubtedly play big in big games, and both have a chip on their shoulder from a lifetime of being rejected and undervalued by their respective power structures. However, they both also managed to overcome their starting places and reached heights because they possessed the heart of a champion.

Lillard was a 2-star recruit, partly because he played for the wrong AAU team and partly because he switched high schools — whereas, Jon Snow was a recruit for the Night’s Watch rather than a lordship because he couldn’t be named Stark.

Weber State isn’t quite The Wall, but it is basically equivalent in terms of obscurity. Nobody expected The King in the North to come from The Night’s Watch, in the same way that nobody expected an NBA-ready, upper-echelon starting point guard to come from a mid-major in Ogden, Utah.

They also both scowl at an elite rate.

Meyers Leonard: Cersei Lannister

If fans had their way, both of them would have been gone like five seasons ago.

Jusuf Nurkic: Daenerys Targaryen

Like the Dragon Queen, young Jusuf came from the East and once had a kingdom (Denver, kingdom-ish) promised to him, only to lose his power to a usurper and face banishment. Nikola Jokic is Robert Baratheon in this metaphor, go with it.

Plus, like, Nurk could totally have some dragons.

Ed Davis: Ser Davos Seaworth

Fan favorites who play hard. Sidebar: I’ve contacted Ed Davis’ agent on multiple occasions and am yet to hear back on whether or not he’s fond of onions and/or the sea.

Jake Layman: Jaime Lannister

Jake Layman kind of just looks like Jaime Lannister.

Noah Vonleh: Podrick Payne

Just a couple of noble dudes. Maybe not the most skilled, but definitely noble.

Blaze the TrailCat: Ser Pounce

IS SER POUNCE AZOR AHAI??

Neil Olshey: Littlefinger

If you wouldn’t have traded up for Zach Collins you might have been a maester, my guy.

Bonus: Blazers of Yesteryear

Will Barton: Margaery Tyrell

Losing each of them a huge mistake, don’t let anybody tell you anything different.

Nate McMillan: Lord Commander Jeor Mormont

Mutinied against and ultimately destroyed by their own men.

B Roy: Robb Stark

Absolute legends gone too soon.

Lamarcus Aldridge: Jora Mormont

Both were once labelled as traitors, and both went away to the end of the realm to finish their careers. Much like Jora in Essos with Daenarys, LaMarcus left to play for a great team but didn’t get to experience it as a key player like he had envisioned.

The midrange is Lamarcus’ grey-scale.

Sheed: Ser Bronn of the Blackwater

Bronn and Sheed combine to average 0 fucks.

Raymond Felton: Joffrey Baratheon.

You already know.

Greg Oden: Stannis Baratheon

Equally tragic figures — both were going to be king, until, you know, they weren’t.

Bill Walton: The Three-Eyed Raven

Has Bill Walton ever gone on vision-quests and seen distant lands through the eyes of birds and wolves? I mean, yeah.